How to Split Christmas Between Divorced Parents: 4 Practical Approaches
Children are a precious gift, but for them, divorce can be a coal in the stocking. Mom and Dad are no longer under the same roof, and Christmas lacks the joyful feelings of togetherness. Especially around Christmas, a family breakup can make kids feel like they’re on Santa’s naughty list.
Fortunately, with thoughtful planning, divorced parents can create a Christmas schedule that preserves cherished traditions, ensures quality time with both Mom and Dad, and helps children feel loved and included. Here are four practical approaches to splitting Christmas in a way that brings cheer to the whole family.
Making Christmas Enjoyable for Children of Divorced Parents
Even though the holidays can feel complicated after a divorce, careful planning can ensure that children feel loved and included. By considering schedules, traditions, and each parent’s strengths, you can create a Christmas experience that balances quality time with both Mom and Dad. The following four approaches provide practical ways to share the holiday while minimizing stress for everyone.
1. Base Schedules on Preferences
Mom may love the excitement surrounding Christmas Eve, so it makes sense for the children to spend time with her during this time. Dad may especially enjoy the merriment of unwrapping gifts on Christmas Day, making it the perfect day to send the kids to him. A firm schedule such as this requires no rotating. The children can always expect to spend Christmas Eve with Mom and Christmas Day with Dad. The benefit of an approach based on tradition or preferences is that both the parents and children experience a holiday full of happiness.
- Set firm timeframes: For example, Christmas Eve can be from 9 am on December 24 to 9 am on December 25, and on Christmas Day from 9 am on December 25 to 9 am on December 26.
- Use video calls: Zoom or Skype can help children stay connected with the parent they aren’t with.
This approach provides consistency and allows both parents and children to experience a happy, stress-free holiday.
2. Embrace Partial Togetherness
Amicable divorcees are able to effortlessly employ the option where both parents come together for a few hours on Christmas morning to open presents with the kids. In order for it to be a harmonious experience, the co-parents must avoid creating an atmosphere of conflict or tension. When parents get along amicably, consider spending a few hours together with the children:
- Open presents together, enjoy a meal, or read holiday stories.
- Agree on a clear timeframe (e.g., 8 am–11 am on Christmas morning).
- Avoid conflict, as children can sense tension.
Another possibility that may disrupt the flow of the Christmas holiday is the introduction of a new significant other. Including Mom’s new boyfriend or Dad’s new girlfriend can put a slight damper on the children’s excitement for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
3. Arrange Holiday Travel
Many families travel during Christmas to visit relatives or enjoy a special holiday vacation. When one parent goes out of town with the kids, travel arrangements can put a strain on holiday schedules. Additionally, holiday travel can complicate schedules, especially across state lines.
- Notify the other parent by December 1 if you plan to travel.
- Set firm travel dates, e.g., December 23–28.
- Consider pre-holiday quality time (December 20–22) to create special memories before traveling.
Planning reduces stress and ensures children enjoy both parents’ time. A family get-together before the hecticness of the busy holiday travel season gives young children an event to anticipate and, afterward, fond memories to treasure.
4. Split School Breaks
Young children typically enjoy a two-week holiday break from school. This time may be divvied up between co-parents.
- Segmented break: December 20–26 with one parent, December 27–school resumption with the other.
- Alternate the full break: Children spend the entire Christmas break with one parent in even-numbered years, the other in odd-numbered years.
Sharing Christmas with beloved parents is what children look forward to each holiday season. In order for plans to move along smoothly, it is important that co-parents encourage their children to spend time with both Mom and Dad. Help simplify the transition when divvying up time.
Celebrating Christmas twice will produce double the joy for the children of divorcees. Encourage a positive experience by explaining anticipated holiday schedules to the children. Avoid asking too many questions about what the children did with the other parent, and never provoke guilty feelings.
Tips for Reducing Holiday Conflict Between Parents
Even with the best intentions, holiday stress can lead to tension. Try these strategies:
- Agree on communication boundaries: Keep discussions about schedules professional and solution-focused.
- Avoid last-minute changes: Confirm plans well in advance to prevent disappointment.
- Respect each other’s traditions: Allow both parents to preserve their holiday routines.
- Keep children out of conflicts: Never ask children to deliver messages or act as mediators.
Work with a Divorce Attorney
Parents are advised to formalize holiday schedules with a court order. A divorce attorney can help ensure plans are fair and legally enforceable.
Allen Gabe at Barber Law Offices LLC has over 30 years of experience handling child custody cases. Whether you are a mother or father with joint or full parental responsibilities, their legal team will help you enjoy a stress-free Christmas with your children.
To schedule your free and confidential consultation with our family law attorneys in Schaumburg, IL, and the surrounding Chicagoland suburbs, call us at 847-303-9780.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How can divorced parents fairly divide Christmas with their children?
Parents can divide Christmas by alternating years, splitting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, or dividing the school holiday break. Clear communication, defined schedules, and respect for each parent’s traditions help ensure the holidays are fair and joyful for children.
Can children spend time with both parents on the same holiday?
Yes. Children can spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with the other. Short periods of shared time, like opening presents together, can also create happy memories when parents are on friendly terms.
How should parents handle new partners during Christmas celebrations?
Only include new partners if both parents agree and the children feel comfortable. Introduce them gradually and keep interactions low-pressure to ensure the holiday focus remains on the children.
What should parents do if travel plans conflict with holiday schedules?
Communicate travel plans early, set firm travel dates, and consider pre- or post-holiday quality time with children to maintain meaningful experiences with both parents.
Is it necessary to involve a lawyer for Christmas custody schedules?
Consulting a family law attorney helps ensure holiday time-sharing plans are legally enforceable. This can prevent disputes and provide a clear framework for future Christmas and holiday schedules.
Allen Gabe is an experienced Illinois attorney specializing in family law, bankruptcy, and real estate matters. With over 50 years of experience, he has helped countless clients navigate divorce, child custody, debt relief, and complex legal challenges with compassion and expertise. Recognized for his dedication, Allen has received multiple awards for client satisfaction and is an active member of professional and community organizations in the Chicago suburbs.
